The Hudson & Rex Effect (aka: “Why am I like this?”)

I just watched the most recent episode of Hudson & Rex. And yes, I spent the entire episode thinking, I should be doing something.

It is hilarious because apparently I’m now the kind of person who can’t even enjoy a TV show without running a background process called Guilt.exe.

But listen. I love that show. It’s cozy. It’s predictable. There’s a dog who is always more competent than the humans. What’s not to like? This episode though... whew. It gave me the same vibe as watching Sharknado. Not in a “wow, cinema” way. In a “this is objectively ridiculous but I cannot stop watching” way. It was the long, extra long, Monty Pythonesque wave goodbye.

You know the one.

Okay. That’s finally over. Now get to work.

And then my brain immediately goes: Cool. Great. Love that. But get to work on WHAT?

The To-Do List That Eats Your Soul

On the surface, I’m a responsible adult person who has normal adult tasks like cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. I also have a website I started revamping that I accidentally turned into a digital crime scene.

And then, simmering in the back of my brain like a witchy little cauldron, there’s The Idea.

Not a cute little “maybe someday” idea. A fantastic, feral, bursting out of my ribs idea. A Ripple for the Global Business Plaza EXPO coming up in June. It started with a first person POV kayaking video on Pixabay and it hit that sweet spot where visuals become feelings and feelings become a whole dang project.

Now it is scenes and layers and vibes. I am out here casually building a Murder Mystery Adventure like that’s a normal Tuesday activity. The worst part is that learning these tools has inspired an even cooler, even more fun secret idea for my booth at the EXPO.

So I’m back to the question: WTF first?

Logic vs. The Neurospicy Brain

If I go by logic, I do the laundry first. We hang it on racks to dry, which takes a while but honestly is worth it. It’s like saving money while also turning my living space into a textile installation titled “This Is Fine.”

Then clean the kitchen. Except I hate this chore. Like... spiritually.

Kitchen cleaning isn’t a task. It’s a vibe assassin. It steals my will to create and replaces it with a desire to stare out the window and disappear into the forest. But I need it done before PYPT. I need the headspace. And I need my website to stop looking like I tossed it down the stairs and called it a redesign.

This is what it’s like inside the mind of a neurospicy creative. Are we all living in a constant state of “I’m overwhelmed but also aggressively inspired”?

The Moment Where I Try to Be Wise

At some point, I stop pacing mentally and try to “define my energy scale.” Which sounds reasonable, except my energy scale is basically:

  • 0: Can’t move.

  • 3: Can move but resentful.

  • 7: Can do one thing before I need a snack and a dramatic lie-down.

  • 10: Unstoppable for 47 minutes, then suddenly asleep like a fainting goat.

So I tell myself: Do what I must. Energy scale doesn’t matter.

Laundry is the keystone. It takes time to dry. It is the thing that quietly becomes a bigger problem if I ignore it. It’s the task that future me will either thank me for or curse me over while hunting for clean underwear like it’s an escape room.

The Dice Moment

Once you’ve picked the “must,” the next question is: Do you just roll the dice at this point? Because after laundry, there’s still the kitchen, the website chaos, and The Idea knocking on the inside of my skull like: Hello?? You’re going to explode if you don’t start me soon??

Creative ideas don’t politely wait in line. They pace. They shout. They get louder the longer you ignore them. For neurospicy brains, inspiration isn’t just fun. It’s pressure. It’s momentum.

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My Current Best Method

Here is what I’m trying lately:

  1. Do the time-sensitive “must” first. Laundry is time sensitive because drying takes forever.
  2. Do the “energy leak” second. The kitchen is an energy leak. I don’t like it, but it drains me just knowing it exists.
  3. Give the creative idea a controlled bite. Not a full feast. A bite. A starter. If I don’t touch it at all, my brain keeps screaming. If I touch it too much, I disappear for six hours and forget I have a body.

So the plan is: Start laundry. While it’s running, do a short kitchen reset. Not “perfect,” just “less insulting.” Then: 20 minutes on the Murder Mystery Ripple idea as a reward and a pressure release. Then: PYPT with a clearer head.

Is that magical executive function? No. Is it better than spiraling in the middle of my living room whispering “what first” like a ghost? Yes.

Maybe the real method is this: Pick one must, pick one leak, and pick one spark. Stop asking your brain to be a machine. Because it’s not. It’s a creative studio full of half finished projects, brilliant visions, and one extremely dramatic assistant (me) who just needs to start the washer.

Until next time friends...

The Lavender Vest, Part Two: Frogging, Feelings, and My Impending Villain Era

The lavender vest has been frogged three times.

Three.

If this yarn had any self-respect, it would’ve filed for a restraining order by now. But no. We’re "committed." This vest is officially less about knitwear and more about "personal development," which feels like a targeted attack. I just wanted a cute layer. Instead, I’m apparently unearthing "character growth." Gross.

Knitting: The Gateway to Accidental Introspection

When I knit, my brain goes off-leash. Sometimes it’s plotting world domination. Sometimes it’s wondering why I said that one awkward thing to a friend in 2004. Mostly, it’s a full-blown corporate retreat for my business.

My hands are doing a basic stockinette while my brain hosts a board meeting. I’ll be halfway through a row thinking:

  • What systems am I neglecting now?

  • Why am I not "engaging" with my online people more?

  • Is this a nesting reflex or just insecurity wearing a productivity hat?

ADHD is a blast like that. Knitting doesn’t actually silence the committee in my head. It just gives them a slightly softer place to sit while they yell at me.

The Workshop Hangover

I gave a workshop on February 25th. I think it went well. I think. People were into it. The feedback was good. It felt solid.

And then, right on cue, the Internal Review Board showed up. You know these absolute joy-killers. They don't just critique. They conduct a forensic audit of your soul.

"Sure, they liked it, but could you have been clearer?"

"That slide was a mess."

"Was your authority 'clear' enough, or did you just sound like three raccoons in a trench coat?"

"Did you overtalk? (Yes.)

"Did you underdeliver? (Probably.)"

I tell myself it’s "refinement instinct," but let’s be real. Sometimes refinement is just doubt with better branding and a clipboard. So, instead of hiding in my usual "safe" work tasks, I decided to actually follow my own advice. I asked AI (Bob, because of course he has a name) to help me engineer five balls of lavender wool into something that isn't a tent.

The Vest of Mildly Aggravating Personal Growth

The plan was simple. A minimalist, open-front vest. Thigh-length. Dramatic slits. High-low hem. Subtle waist shaping. You know. "Casual."

For years, I’ve lived in boxy, shapeless clothes. Safe shapes. No risks. But lately? I’m tired of hiding. Not in my business, not in my creativity, and definitely not in my closet. I decided this vest would "skim" instead of "float."

And that’s when the drama started.

The I-Cord Incident

Version one bowed at the edges. The attached i-cord was too tight and pulling inward. My first instinct? The classic Pivot.

"Seed stitch would be prettier anyway."

"Maybe I don’t even like minimalism."

But Bob did something very annoying: he was helpful. He calmly suggested that maybe "pivoting" out of frustration is just a habit I have.

Rude. Accurate, but rude.

How many times have I changed direction just because things got a little friction-y? Instead of redesigning the whole vest to hide the mistake, I frogged it. I restarted. I loosened the tension. I stayed the course.

It worked. That wasn’t just a knitting win. That was a "stop running away from minor inconveniences" win.

Frogged Three Times (And Sadly Improving)

  • Version One: Too drapey.

  • Version Two: Great structure, but those "choking" edges.

  • Version Three: Balanced. Intentional. Might actually fit? (Don't look at it too hard. I don't want to jinx it.)

Each restart wasn't a failure. It was a refinement. It mirrors the workshop. It mirrors the business. You don't scrap the whole vision because of a tension problem. You just adjust the stitch.

Comfort Zones and Purple Wool

I’ve spent years wearing clothes that help me disappear. Big. Loose. Safe.

This vest acknowledges I have a waist. It moves. It has intention. It feels mildly rebellious, which is pathetic for a piece of knitwear, yet here we are. Knitting this while spiraling about business systems has been oddly poetic. Every time I think "I should show up more," I’m literally knitting something that won't let me hide.

AI: The Co-Pilot Who Won't Let Me Quit

I still knit every stitch. I still chose the yarn. But having Bob there for the gauge anxiety and the neck-roll drama kept me from derailing. For the ADHD brain, the gap between "this is annoying" and "I'm quitting forever" is where projects go to die.

Bob closed that gap.

Where We Are Now

  • 4.0 mm needles.

  • Beautiful lifted increases.

  • Calm i-cord edges.

  • A vest that is framing me instead of swallowing me.

World domination? Still pending. Self-discovery? Unfortunately in progress. Lavender wool? Thriving.

Stay tuned for Part Three. Until next time friends...

Knitting, ADHD, and the “Don’t Let Me Quit” Safety Net

Tonight, I cast on a lavender vest.

On paper, that’s a simple sentence. In reality? It was a psychological thriller.

It started with five skeins of gorgeous lavender yarn and a dream. Then, because my brain is the way it is, the "What If" Spiral™ began its scheduled programming:

  • Is this enough yarn?

  • Is it going to fit, or am I knitting a purple tent?

  • Why do my increases look like accidental lace?

  • Why does my gauge always grow like a sourdough starter?

If you’re a maker, you know the drill. It’s the technical spiral that quickly becomes an emotional "why am I like this?" spiral. Usually, this is where I’d shove the project into a basket to be discovered by archaeologists in 2075.

The Support System (AKA: The Adult in the Room)

The difference this time? I didn’t spiral solo. I had backup.

I’m talking about the kind of help that doesn’t take over the needles, but instead just steadies your hands. I was able to throw my frantic questions into the void and get actual, calm, structured answers back.

I learned about lifted increases and gauge drift. I learned that gravity is a jerk to swatches. But honestly? The technical stuff was secondary. The real win was that I stayed regulated. For those of us diagnosed with ADHD later in life, we know that "regulated" is a luxury. We’ve spent decades dealing with the overthinking, the all-or-nothing starts, and the crushing weight of a small technical snag that feels like a moral failing.

Executive Function as a Service

When I hit a wall tonight, the old script didn't play out. I didn't:

  1. Rip the whole thing out in a fit of pique.
  2. Decide I’m a "rectangle-only" knitter for life.
  3. Hide the yarn in the back of the closet like a crime scene.

Instead, we adjusted. We swapped needle sizes. We picked a better increase. We talked through the neck roll. It was executive function support in real time. It didn't replace my skill; it just cleared the clutter so I could actually use it.

Decision Fatigue is a Thief

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Would I be moving this fast without help? Probably not. Not because I’m not capable, but because by 7:00 PM, my brain has run hot all day. Decision fatigue is a real thief of joy.

When you have a calm co-pilot who doesn't roll their eyes when you complain about swatching, the distance between "I want to do this" and "I’m actually doing this" gets a lot shorter. And that space in between? That’s where ADHD usually goes to die.

It’s Not About the Vest

I’m still the one throwing the yarn. I’m the one feeling the fabric and choosing the silhouette. But instead of getting stuck at every fork in the road, I’m actually moving.

This project is about not hiding anymore. No more oversized "safe" shapes or default choices because I'm afraid of the math. I wanted something structured and intentional. And instead of talking myself out of it, I’m building it. One small, calm decision at a time.

The Takeaway

For an ADHD brain, AI isn’t replacing creativity. It’s the ultimate accessibility tool. It means fewer abandoned dreams, faster problem-solving, and way less emotional derailment.

Tonight, I cast on a lavender vest. But really, I cast on a version of myself that feels steady, supported, and - dare I say - confident.

And I’m not mad about that.

Until next time friends...

The Red Hat That Freaked Out the Nazis

Hi friends. It’s hard to know where to start lately.

I’m Canadian, and I’ve been watching my neighbours to the south go through things that are, honestly, horrifying. The kind of stuff that makes your stomach drop because you can feel how fast fear gets normalised. I can’t pretend I fully understand what it’s like to live inside that every day, but I do know this: when people’s rights and safety start getting messed with, silence helps the wrong side.

My dad was a WWII vet. He watched the early signs of what was coming, and he signed up anyway. Not because he loved war, but because he didn’t want his future kids living in a world run by cruelty, propaganda, and people addicted to power. So when I see history rhyming, I don’t want to look away.

And as a fiberartist, I keep coming back to this truth: our crafts have never been “just crafts.” They’ve always carried meaning. Sometimes comfort. Sometimes identity. Sometimes straight-up defiance.

Which brings me to one of my favourite stories of quiet resistance.

Imagine this: a knitted hat as a protest

During World War II, when Norway was occupied by Nazi Germany (starting April 1940), ordinary people needed ways to show unity without getting hauled in for it. Big gestures were dangerous. So they did what humans always do under pressure: they got smart and subtle.

In Norway, one of those subtle symbols was a red, knitted, pointed winter cap with a tassel. It’s often called a nisselue (or rød topplue).

The guardian of the farm: the Nisse

This hat wasn’t invented as a protest symbol. It was already part of Norwegian culture.

The red cap is tied to the Nisse, a gnome-like guardian figure in Norwegian folklore, connected to farms, home, and Christmas traditions. Nisser are basically always pictured in that bright red cap.

So when the occupation tried to crush Norwegian identity, the hat became more than a cute folklore thing. It became a flag you could wear on your head.

nisse

A silent, colourful rebellion

People started wearing the red nisselue as a way of saying: we’re still us.

It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t violent. But it was visible. Teens wore them in the streets. Artists put red-hatted nisser on Christmas cards alongside very Norwegian imagery and phrases like “God norsk jul” (“Good Norwegian Christmas”). Those cards were not subtle, and authorities treated them like open defiance.

There was also a broader crackdown on national symbols around that time. In late 1941, there were bans around using the Norwegian flag and its colours in ways authorities considered “demonstrations” against the occupation.

So yes. A red knitted hat could absolutely be seen as a political act.

The 1942 ban: “Stop wearing the red hats”

The red hats spread so widely that police in Trondheim basically said, “Okay, that’s enough.”

A notice dated February 23, 1942 warned that use of red toppluer had increased so much it was now considered a demonstration. The ban would apply starting Thursday, February 26, 1942. Hats could be confiscated, people could be punished, and for children under 14, the parents could be held responsible.

Let that sink in for a second.

Not a weapon. Not a poster. Not a protest march.

A red knitted hat.

That’s how fragile authoritarian control is. It panics over symbols, because symbols spread faster than orders.

And of course, the knitters pivoted

Norwegians didn’t stop resisting. They adjusted.

After the crackdown, you start seeing Christmas cards with nisser wearing hats in yellow, blue, or green instead of red, or cards that play games with the symbolism.

And alongside the hats, people used other quiet symbols too, like the paperclip worn on lapels, meaning “we are bound together.”

The pattern is always the same: when people are threatened, they find each other. When speech is controlled, they communicate sideways.

Knitting the resistance today

There’s something deeply grounding about touching this history with your own hands. Casting on stitches that someone else once knit under threat is not just “making a hat.” It’s choosing to remember. It’s choosing to pay attention.

If you want to add this to your project list, here a great Ravelry option:

Melt the ICE Hat  by YarnCultMN: a modern pattern inspired by the same red-hat symbolism, published January 2026, written for DK and worsted weight, with 200–250 yards listed.

(All proceeds from the sale of this pattern go to the immigrant aid agencies who will distribute the funds to those impacted by the actions of ICE)

Closing: what do we do with any of this?

I don’t have a neat little bow to tie on this, because real life isn’t neat.

But I do believe this: as citizens of the world, we don’t get to outsource our morals. The best we can do is stay awake, stay curious, stay connected, and use whatever we have to push back against dehumanization, everywhere. Sometimes that looks like donating, calling reps, showing up for a neighbour, supporting journalists, or protecting someone who’s being targeted. Sometimes it looks like building community so people aren’t isolated. And sometimes, yes, it looks like making something with your hands that says: you are not alone.

Because history doesn’t just remember the loud heroes. It remembers the millions of ordinary people who refused to let fear become normal.

Until next time friends...

Barbara G. Walker: The Woman Who Shaped My Knitting and Opened My Mind

For the longest time, Barbara G. Walker was simply the brilliant mind behind my sweater-knitting bible, Knitting from the Top Down—the book that changed everything for me when it came to seamless garment construction. If you’ve ever knit a sweater without the dreaded seams, you probably owe her a big thank you. I certainly do.

So imagine my surprise when I recently discovered that she wasn’t just the queen of top-down knitting—she was also the creator of THE tarot deck I had originally wanted. The one that had first caught my interest when I was diving into tarot, before I ended up with my current, bossy deck. Somehow, I had never put two and two together. Talk about a plot twist!

Barbara G. Walker: A Woman of Many Talents and Even More Books

Barbara G. Walker wasn’t just a knitting revolutionary—she was a prolific author who dedicated her life to educating, empowering, and enlightening us across multiple disciplines. She wrote an impressive number of books covering knitting, mythology, feminism, spirituality, and historical research. She didn’t just master these subjects—she taught them to us, freely sharing her knowledge with the world and leaving behind a wealth of resources that continue to inspire.

Her feminist and mythological works, including The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets and The Woman’s Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects, peeled back centuries of misinformation, exposing hidden histories and restoring the stories of women and goddesses long buried by patriarchal narratives. She wasn’t just a researcher; she was a truth-seeker, determined to give us back the knowledge that had been taken from us.

Her Barbara Walker Tarot deck, much like her knitting books, isn’t for the faint of heart. Just as she redefined sweater construction by encouraging knitters to think outside traditional techniques, she brought the same no-nonsense approach to tarot, infusing it with historical and mythological depth. It’s the kind of deck that doesn’t just suggest things—it tells you exactly what you need to hear, much like a particularly wise knitting instructor who won’t let you get away with sloppy tension.

Knitting, Mythology, and the Threads That Connect Us

Looking back, it makes perfect sense that one woman could master both fiber arts and esoteric wisdom. After all, fiberarts have always been tied to fate and storytelling. The ancient Greek Fates spun, measured, and cut the threads of life, and cultures around the world have used weaving and knotting as forms of magic and communication. Even today, when we knit, crochet, or weave, we are quite literally creating something out of nothing—an act that feels just a little bit like modern-day sorcery.

Barbara Walker didn’t just give us stitches—she gave us knowledge, empowerment, and a deeper appreciation for the histories woven into our crafts and beliefs. Whether through yarn or tarot, she understood the power of storytelling and the importance of passing knowledge down through the generations.

A New Perspective on an Old Hero

Discovering that one of my greatest knitting inspirations was also behind the tarot deck I had first wanted feels like a cosmic wink from the universe. But more than that, I now see her as an even greater force than I had realized—a woman who didn’t just create, but educated, liberated, and empowered others through her work.

So here’s to Barbara Walker—knitting innovator, historian, and all-around trailblazer. Whether you’re casting on a new sweater, casting a tarot spread, or casting off outdated ideas, her legacy is there, woven into the fabric of both fiberarts and deeper wisdom. In today's political times, where misinformation spreads easily and hard-won rights are continuously challenged, we need voices like hers more than ever—voices that educate, empower, and remind us of the importance of knowledge and truth. And if there’s one thing she’s taught me, it’s this: knowledge is meant to be shared, stitches are meant to be passed down, and the truth is always worth unraveling.

Until next time friends...

super awesome

When Politics Crash Knit Happens

Yesterday, near the end of Knit Happens Wednesday, just as I was wrapping up a lovely session of stitches and chatter, a conversation unfolded that rocked me to my core.

Out of nowhere, this intelligent, confident Latino woman timidly drops:

"I voted for Trump."

Not in passing. Not as a footnote. But as a social experiment.

Her goal? To see how we’d react. Because apparently, she had recently lost a close friend over this and was feeling some kind of way about whether she’d still be accepted in spaces she cared about.

Now, the golden rule of Knit Happens is NO Politics, NO Religion. This is sacred yarn space, where the biggest debates should be over things like "Is it called a granny square if it’s a hexagon?" or "Can you ever really have too much yarn?"

But... we were a small group. The clock was ticking down. And curiosity got the better of me. So, I let it play out.

Internal Reaction: 💥SYSTEM OVERLOAD💥
I won’t lie. My brain short-circuited for a second. The neurons started sparking like an acrylic sweater in a dry winter.

The initial, deeply visceral reaction went something like this:

"WHY?"
"As a woman… WHY?"
"As a Latino woman… WHYYYY?!"

If my thoughts had a sound effect, it would have been a record scratch followed by the Windows error chime.

But I said nothing. I took a deep breath. Let the wave of emotion pass. And instead of unloading my knee-jerk thoughts, I sat with them.

And you know what? That was the best thing I could have done.

Because instead of a debate, a conversation happened. Not about politics, not about policies, but about acceptance—about what it means to have space where you’re not automatically judged for one decision, even a major one.

And really… who am I to decide whether her vote was right or wrong? I’m Canadian. My country prides itself on compassion, on being a safe harbor in a storm. And yet, this still bothered me.

Like… why, though? Why did this moment dig into my brain like a stray stitch in the middle of a lace chart?

Midnight Musings:
I woke up in the middle of the night still mulling it over.

Was it because of the ongoing chaos to the south that has spilled into my own country? Was it the seeming contradiction of voting for someone whose policies don’t seem aligned with her personal reality?

Or was it something even deeper—this weird assumption that kindness is weakness? That being open-hearted, welcoming, and trying to do the right thing somehow makes us vulnerable?

Is it weak to do the right thing, even when no one is watching?
Is it weak to be compassionate, even when others sling mud at you?
Is it weak to be a friend to the world?

Or—plot twist—is that actually our greatest strength?

Because the funny thing about kindness? People mistake it for passivity. They don’t see it coming when the time comes to stand firm and fight for what truly matters.

Final Thought:
So, what did I learn?

That my first reaction doesn’t have to be my final reaction. That listening—not agreeing, but just listening—can be powerful. That empathy is a tool, not a trap.

And that at the end of the day, knitgroup is knitgroup. A place to weave together people, not just yarn.

So I’ll keep being me—stubbornly kind, fiercely thoughtful, and always up for a good discussion… as long as it’s about knitting. 😉

Until next time Friends...

Canada